• Thank you very much!

    I am completely overwhelmed by all the positive response I have received the past few days! You guys have been incredibly positive about my blog. You’ve actually been much better than expected. I was expecting more criticism because of the very sensitive subject I am writing about. But I have been greeted only by joy, interest and gratitude. 

    I have received messages and comments from both parents and donor children. Primarily from people in Denmark but also other countries like Norway and Poland. My impression is that it is nice to get an insight into my thoughts and gain a more positive perspective on life as a donor child. 

    I just want to say a thousand thanks for your support, and the way you have welcomed my blog. 

    It makes so much sense to share with you guys. I have been wondering if it had any interest to blog about this subject and if people would benefit from it. I’ve been confirmed. 

    I have been asked to write about my life in primary school, as some of the parents who commentet, have donor children of their own who are close to school age. I will write about when and what part of my life in the school years it made a difference to me. The post will be up in the near future. 

    To all of you who have experiences, thoughts or generally have questions about being a donor child. You are more than welcome to write to me, either on Facebook, in a comment or on my email: emmagroenbaek@gmail.com
    I promise to answer and possibly make a new post about this if i think others can benefit from it as well.  

    In conclusion, I would like to say thank you again and have a nice evening to everyone out there. I am delighted that people will help spread the happier storys of donor children.  

    Hug Emma

  • Tell your child

    My parents were young when began trying to have children. I took 6 years of fertility treatment, until they finally were expecting a child. It happened with help from a sperm donor. The Doctor who helped them become pregnant, then advised them not to tell the truth about my way into life. That was the advice given to the parents of donor children back in the ‘ 90s. Fortunately we’ve become wiser over time and this it not advised today. And to my luck it was an advise my parents had no intention of following. 

    My parents were afraid that I would turn my back on them one day if i suddenly found out that my father, in a biological sense, was not my real father. Throughout the whole process, they had been honest with family and friends that they were struggling to have children. And now what would you tell them? The truth and hope that no one would ever talk about it. Or lie to all of them? 

    My parents saw only disadvantages and greater losses by keeping it secret. It meant that I grew up with the story of a nice man whom we do not know that helped us become a family. 
    We talked about it as far back as I can remember. I was told early in life how sperm from men would travel to the egg from the woman in order for it to become a child. My parents explained to me that another man had helped us by giving his sperm you put on my mothers egg. I have always thought of him as someone pleasant and unselfish who me and my family. 

    Honesty is key

    I am so so happy that my parents were honest and told the truth from when I was quite small. It never became a shock to me, and my parents spared the torment such a secret can cause to a person and their family. 

    Many parents wait for the child to become older so that they better will understand every aspect of being a donor conceived child. Some are waiting for the right time, but when is the right time?
    I say save yourselves for the torment and tell it from the beginning of the child’s life. Then they gradually understand more and more and it will never become at surprise or shock.

    I was a happy little girl, with an unnatural great interest in fertilization. As 5 years old, I drew this drawing, which is now my logo.
    Eggs and sperm drawn by Emma 5 years 

  • Taboo

    I have to admit that I think it’s hard what and what not to write. But I’ve decided to write a little about taboo. 

    I’ve recently seen Rune Klans comedy show childless. 
    Even though it is comedy he brings up for a lot of the taboos associated with infertility and fertility treatment. 
    His focus is particularly on the taboos of men and reduced sperm quality, as is his experience.
    Throughout the show he has a very teaching approach and you get a lot of knowledge about sperm, sperm quality and fertility treatment.
    The show is defiantly worth watching and is very entertaining with funny jokes and magic, but not least incredibly touching and instructive.

    After I came to think of the taboos I have experienced. I think there is a great deal of taboo connected to donor children. And I generally think there is an negative rhetoric and media coverage of the subject of donor children. I think this is unfortunate for all of the donor children around the world, including myself. Also it is incredibly unnecessary. 
    But why is it like this? 

    Secrets

    First of all, for many years there has been great secrets associated with donor children. Especially in familys were they have waited to tell the child the truth. Friends and family may have known and have been afraid to reveal the great secret. All this secretiveness has infected the therm donor child.
    I have often experienced that people went completely silent and became very uncomfortable when I told them that I was a donor child. They knew neither what to say or do. People don’t know if they should think it’s a pity for me or whether it’s okay or what it is. 

    Ignorance 

    Which leads me to 2. reason, namely ignorance.
    I often meet great ignorance about what it means to be a donor child, why it was necessary and how it is possible. If you have not had to get acquainted with the fertility industry or have a donor child in your life, the general knowledge is incredibly small. This i think, is again due to the secrecy. But I believe that it is also due to the media coverage. 

    Media coverage 

    In general, I am incredibly upset by and tired of the media coverage regarding donor children. The media always look for the story. This means that the children who have lived a normal life without a whole lot of deprivation are not an exciting story. But the troubled ones are.
    This media coverage reflects in the opinions and attitudes of the general public. This is a big problem. These opinions are formed on a false basis when the media only show the donor children who are feeling betrayed. 

    I recently volunteered to participate in a danish TV show. After a little correspondence back and forth, they could not use me anyway. This was because my story was simply too positive and not the perspective they wanted to make upon donor conceived children. 
    I personally have never had a need to contact or know more about my donor or potential half-siblings. I have my own family. This was not what they wanted to hear.

    I have now seen the show, where a girl represents donor children. I think it’s really good that she gets to tell about her perception of being a donor child. But yet again she fells like she misses him in her life ad have a strong wish to meet her donor.
    I this one sided journalism provides the world with the wrong impression. I think it gives a misleading impression of the needs of donor children. We do not all have the same need to know the donor. Not every donor conceived child is sad about this fact.

    I wish fore a change in the future. I wish that journalist well recognize their responsibility to varied journalism so we do now leave the world with constructed truths. I wish this for the future donor conceived children. 

    If you have any experiences, comments or opinions you would like to share, please enter the comments below the post 🙂

    The TV show kan be found here on DR: Https://www.dr.dk/tv/se/langt-fra-borgen/langt-fra-borgen-4/langt-fra-borgen-skal-det-fortsat-vaere-tilladt-at-vaere-anonym-saeddonor

    Rune Klan childless can be found on Tv2 Play: Https://play.tv2.dk/programmer/comedy/serier/rune-klan—barnloes/komik-og-Tryl-i-world class-part-2-167726/

    Hugs Emma 

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