Emma Grønbæk

To have a family

From time to time I have been asked about my thoughts on having a family my own. Asked if I’ve thought about it, in the context of being donor conceived. And of course, this is something I’ve been thinking about from time to time. In this post I will share some of my thoughts.

Biology

My mother is a clinical geneticist. This means that she knows a great deal about heretage and diseases. I have often talked to her about her work and I know that it is not always an advantage to know too much about your genetics. It can cause both grief and worry, which in some cases were unnecessary.
As a donor child, I only know about 50% of my biology. However, the remaining 50% have been tested for more diseases than most of the rest of population. I think it statistically gives me slightly better odds.
You can get tests to map your genome and thereby get more information. I don’t want to know more about my genetics at the moment, especially not before I potentilly have children. I am convinced that it would cause an incredible amount of scruples and concerns. As things are now, I don’t really worry much about my biology, and that’s how I could like to keep it.

Emotions

However, I also think about whether children could potentially change my thoughts and feelings about my donor. That this big event of life and change could give me other needs.
Could I thus have a longing to know more?
Would I want to see if the kids could have special features both of mind and appearance that were similar to donors?
At this time, I cannot argue why this should happen. After all, I’ve always known that he was there and that I might share similarities with him. But I only think of it as something exciting and a little bit special in the good way. This is exactly what makes me to be me – and im thankful for that.
Of course, I would hope that I can continue to be satisfied and have this view of on my anonymous donor. Nor can I at the time see why it should change if I had children myself. However, the thought has struck me!
In that case, my whole approach to being donor conceived might change.

… A donor child’s thoughts on starting a family …


See also the Child’s book where it is possible to make a book yourself as the reminder parents made for your own child – Click here

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