WHY DO WE KEEP INFERTILITY A BIG SECRET?

First of all, for many years there have been great secrets associated with donor children. Especially if the family has been waiting to tell the child. Friends and family may have known the truth and have been afraid to reveal the big secret.

I have to admit that I think it’s hard what and what not to write. But I’ve decided to write a little about taboo. 

I’ve recently seen Rune Klans comedy show childless. 
Even though it is comedy he brings up for a lot of the taboos associated with infertility and fertility treatment
His focus is particularly on the taboos of men and reduced sperm quality, as is his experience.
Throughout the show he has a very teaching approach and you get a lot of knowledge about sperm, sperm quality and fertility treatment.
The show is defiantly worth watching and is very entertaining with funny jokes and magic, but not least incredibly touching and instructive.

After I came to think of the taboos I have experienced. I think there is a great deal of taboo connected to donor children. And I generally think there is an negative rhetoric and media coverage of the subject of donor children. I think this is unfortunate for all of the donor children around the world, including myself. Also it is incredibly unnecessary. 
But why is it like this? 

Secrets

First of all, for many years there has been great secrets associated with donor children. Especially in familys were they have waited to tell the child the truth. Friends and family may have known and have been afraid to reveal the great secret. All this secretiveness has infected the therm donor child.
I have often experienced that people went completely silent and became very uncomfortable when I told them that I was a donor child. They knew neither what to say or do. People don’t know if they should think it’s a pity for me or whether it’s okay or what it is. 

Ignorance 

Which leads me to 2. reason, namely ignorance.
I often meet great ignorance about what it means to be a donor child, why it was necessary and how it is possible. If you have not had to get acquainted with the fertility industry or have a donor child in your life, the general knowledge is incredibly small. This i think, is again due to the secrecy. But I believe that it is also due to the media coverage. 

Media coverage 

In general, I am incredibly upset by and tired of the media coverage regarding donor children. The media always look for the story. This means that the children who have lived a normal life without a whole lot of deprivation are not an exciting story. But the troubled ones are.
This media coverage reflects in the opinions and attitudes of the general public. This is a big problem. These opinions are formed on a false basis when the media only show the donor children who are feeling betrayed. 

I recently volunteered to participate in a danish TV show. After a little correspondence back and forth, they could not use me anyway. This was because my story was simply too positive and not the perspective they wanted to make upon donor conceived children. 
I personally have never had a need to contact or know more about my donor or potential half-siblings. I have my own family. This was not what they wanted to hear.

I have now seen the show, where a girl represents donor children. I think it’s really good that she gets to tell about her perception of being a donor child. But yet again she fells like she misses him in her life ad have a strong wish to meet her donor.
I this one sided journalism provides the world with the wrong impression. I think it gives a misleading impression of the needs of donor children. We do not all have the same need to know the donor. Not every donor conceived child is sad about this fact.

I wish fore a change in the future. I wish that journalist well recognize their responsibility to varied journalism so we do now leave the world with constructed truths. I wish this for the future donor conceived children. 

If you have any experiences, comments or opinions you would like to share, please enter the comments below the post 🙂

The TV show kan be found here on DR: Https://www.dr.dk/tv/se/langt-fra-borgen/langt-fra-borgen-4/langt-fra-borgen-skal-det-fortsat-vaere-tilladt-at-vaere-anonym-saeddonor

Rune Klan childless can be found on Tv2 Play: Https://play.tv2.dk/programmer/comedy/serier/rune-klan—barnloes/komik-og-Tryl-i-world class-part-2-167726/

Hugs Emma 

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