Several have written to me about there their own children and worries for when they have to start school. They think a lot about how it will affect their children that they are donor children. They worry despite knowing they have done everything possible to prepare the child in the best way.
This is why I want to tell you something about my school years.
First of all, I want to tell all the worrying parents that i have never been teased about being a donor conceived child. In fact, it has meant incredibly little to the other children. Despite the fact that it meant a lot to me in these years. It meant something in this period, as a lot is going on with children’s consciousness and understanding in the school years.
I want to tell you about my first experience of being donor child and a little bit different.
When I was about 2 grade we had to draw a family tree. My mother knows a lot about genetics and family trees, witch meant that it was something I had heard about at home. I knew that mine was different and difficult to draw, because “The nice man” (This is what we named the donor) was in the picture too.
As the proud little girl i was, told my teacher and the rest of the class about my complicated family tree. My mother has told me that I have always felt it was my duty to enlighten people that I was a donor child. And also what it would mean to be a donor child. I suppose you can say that continue doing that with this blog.
But my teacher was not so excited about my story. She called my parents to tell them that I was making up stories in school. She thought i was just trying to get attention. My parents explained her that it was i fact the truth. That I actually had another biological father that we didn’t know and that i was something we talked a lot about at home.
It was, of course a different time and people knew less about donor children than they do today. I think this was the case with my teacher. I think she was very surprised at how much I knew. But also that I was proud to be a donor child and that i went around telling openly about it, even as a little girl.
For the other children in the class, it meant absolutely nothing. I don’t think they even understood what I was talking about. What it meant that my parents had to get help fro another man to produce me? In their eyes was a child just like them and no different.
They certainly didn’t mention anything, but I still felt special in the good way.
It was more likely an unpleasant experience for my teacher than it was for me. I don’t think that it was something I thought about afterwards. But she had learned something new and I had enlightened her or at least that was how i felt.
A common feature of donor children who know about donor conception from childhood is, that they a greater knowledge about family relationships and parentage than ordinary children. This is because it is something families of donor children have to talk about at home to understand how things work.
Therefore, it is also an advantage that the adults who work with these child on a daily basis, know just a little bit about their background. This would be to understand these children better.
I think both me and my teacher could have benefited from that.
I hope this little tale can bring a bit of calm to some parents out there!